How To Do Cuffing Season The Right Way

Autumn is here and so is the annual mating season known as “Cuffing season”. The nights are getting colder, going on dates outside seems less desirable and the feeling of staying in and binge watching shows together becomes stronger. 

Cuffing season, the term used to describe daters who couple up rapidly between the months of October and February has recently trended in the dating sphere.

To save yourself some heartbreak, here are our tips on how to survive cuffing season the right way.

Date on your terms

It can be very tempting to date someone for the sake of it, especially when it’s the season where your family interrogates you about your love life. The notion that single = unhappy is an outdated one and for a lot of our families, they are used to seeing it from their side. Remember your happiness doesn’t equate to everyone else’s. 

If you’re dating casually during cuffing season, don’t feel pressure to move quicker than you normally would just for table talk.

Go at your own pace

If the new person you’re dating is looking to get “cuffed up” sooner than you want, don’t feel pressured to agree. The fear of missing out can trigger people to accept situations where normally they wouldn’t . For example, seeing happy couples on Instagram all cozied up, could persuade you to say yes in moving your relationship to the next level but is that what you truly want? Or what you think you want? 

Don’t make decisions on temporary moods

If the change in weather affects your mood, it’s wise to avoid making any romantic decisions when you’re down. You could be looking for comfort temporarily but the person you’re dating could be looking for something longer. 

On the other hand, if a partner is love-bombing you, it’s better to be cautious. Love-bombing is when your new partner showers you with lots of affection at the start that you get swept up in the moment and jump in too fast. 

Trying to find a fine line between both is hard so trust your instincts, if it’s too good to be true, it probably is.

If you experience a change in feelings, remember to communicate

Despite it being cuffing season, you could genuinely find yourself in a good relationship. At any point, if you feel like the relationship is no longer working out but want to hold onto it till the summer so you’re less lonely, that’s a bad sign. In the meantime, your partner’s feelings may deepen, making the eventual breakup even harder.

As long as you’re both honest with each other about where you see your relationship going, you know you’re both on the same boat and it’s not a surprise to either of you. 

Look after yourself

Just because it’s cuffing season, doesn’t mean you need to avoid dating all together. It can be a fun time to explore your options, whether it’s offline or online. In fact, Match.com reported, peak dating season is between the end of Dec to Feb 14th, so you’re more likely to find someone in these colder months than any other season. 

Friends to Lovers? How to Break Out Of The Friend zone...

If movies have taught us anything, moving from friends to lovers seems like a pretty easy transition but in reality, it’s not. Friends and dating is a complicated subject.  They say the best relationships start out with friendship but what if some relationships  are meant to only be friendships?

It’s tempting to take the leap when your feelings change from platonic to romantic for someone you’ve been close to. In some cases, it could be the best thing that ever happened. In others, well, consider it a friendship that’s over.  

The “Friendzone” is known as the place where unrequited love goes when you’re just meant to be friends. 

So how do you know if it’s worth  being honest?

Here’s our top tips on how to weigh up whether or not you should make your move out from the friendzone.

What does your friendship mean to you?

How important is this person to you in your life? If it’s a bond you don’t want to risk losing, think carefully before you confess your feelings. No matter how well we think we know our friends, there’s always a part of them that we truly don’t know. Weighing out the pros and cons of how they would react might be a good start. Best case scenario - they feel the same way and just didn’t have the confidence to admit it. Worst case scenario - they don’t feel the same way and now it’s awkward between you two. Be ready for whatever the outcome is.

Get advice from your other friends

The best way to feel out if your friend may harbour the same feelings as you is to check in with your mutual friends. The outside perspective can be incredibly useful if they’ve noticed something both of you didn’t. A matchmaker friend could be all that it takes to bring you closer. Send them these tips on how to wingman for you. It only works with friends who you’re both close to as it can be just as easy to misunderstand if they don’t know you both well enough. And if you don’t have any mutual friends? Ask those closest to you for advice. They may have experience in the friendzone or heard of some success stories that could inspire you to go for it. Take it on board but use your best judgement. 

Find out what both of you want from a relationship

You may know the in’s and outs of each other in terms of best friend status but what about from a relationship perspective? Your friend may appear confident and independent but what if they want to be cared for and secure in a relationship? Having an honest talk about relationships can be tough and if their dating history is not the most pleasant, it can come off like you’re preaching so tread carefully. If you’re conscious of the fact that you’re different to the people they’ve dated in the past, don’t let it hold you back. Sometimes it’s worth reminding the people you love, what’s right there in front of them BUT let them make the choice. 

Are they ready to date again?

If they’ve recently broken up with someone, it may feel like this is your chance to jump in. Finally you’re both single and you can see where it goes. Wrong. As much as you think you’ve waited a reasonable amount of time to bring it up, it could be they are just not over it yet. They may be happy on the outside but it’s the little reminders that they may still be torn up about it. If you prematurely confess, it can result in hurt on both sides. They’ve just been through one emotional journey, you don’t want them to go on another  one that soon. However, if you truly see them venturing into dating again, pick your timing wisely and then approach carefully.

Have An Honest Talk

When you’re finally ready to have the talk with them, make sure it’s honest. From both sides. Don’t let misunderstandings and humour neglect your true feelings. Be prepared for the awkward silence. Dropping the bombshell can take a bit of processing and don’t expect an answer straight away. Just as you’ve had the time to think about how you’re going to tell them, let them have the same time to react. If the outcome is not what you expected, don’t try to take it back. Doing this could only confirm that you’re untrustworthy and not ready for a relationship. 

Better Together or Apart?

Don’t force a relationship for the sake of it. Make sure one party doesn’t feel guilty otherwise it could lead to resentment in the long run. If you’ve decided to remain as “just friends”, make sure you’re both happy about it. Going back to your friendship may be uneasy at first but if things don’t correct itself after a few months, it may be time to have another talk or hash it out. It’s also normal for friends to grow apart after an unrequited love. Spending less time together can be good to get over your feelings. On the other hand, if you’re both open to exploring what a relationship could look like between the two of you, take it easy. It can be easy to over pressurize the situation so start off by limiting the expectations. Why not agree to go on a date and see how things develop from there? 

Some people are meant to be just friends and some people more. It’s up to you whether you want to take that leap of faith and have no regrets. Or even better, let your wingman handle it.

Do you want to be an online wingman for a single friend that you want to help out of the friend-zone? 

Download Wingman app and matchmake your friends.

My Tips On How To Navigate Social Awkwardness After Lockdown

After a year of working from home zoom meetings, homeschooling and quarantines, there is an uncertainty and cautious optimism as we move forward.  As we all prepare to go back to a physical workspace, after almost a year of zoom meetings, homeschooling and isolation, we must be mindful as we step into our new normal. 

Here’s my tips on how to navigate successful relationships after Lockdown:

1. Don’t rush in

Don’t expect to snap back to normal.  It’s going to take time to settle back into a new normal.  This isn’t like coming back to work after a holiday to catch up on the office gossip.  You and your colleagues will have experienced many lows during this time at home, with some going through the worst of times, so don’t assume everyone’s pandemic experience will match yours.   Many people have lost friends and family so keep it appropriate. You will have several weeks and months to fully catch up on the past year so take your time and give others space.

2. It’s not about you.

Whilst its been a while since you’ve had human contact, you don’t need to offload and give a full rendition of your lockdown experience in a speech in a panic to get it all out. Everyone will have different levels of stress and upset and there could be many triggers that could affect others.    So simple things like not touching other people’s things, wiping down communal areas, and appropriate social distancing will be key in keeping your environment workable. 

3. Small kindness goes a long way

It’s been a while since you’ve been in the office so feel free to re-introduce yourself to those newer faces.  One thing the pandemic has showed us is that we really value human contact, friendships and relationships, and that a kind word does go a long way so during these uncertain times ahead.  As much as you may want to hide away behind a mask or desk, do make the effort to make eye contact and say hello to new people  – if everyone did this, such a small token of human contact, it’s going to have a positive effect on everyone.  

4. Mindfulness and self talk

Even the most confident of people are going to have anxious moments.  After any trauma there is a fall out as we readjust to life, and so how you talk to yourself is going to be really important.  There are many affirmational clips you can listen to or meditations in order to keep your mind calm.   Affirmations are really helpful when you need to give yourself reassurance or a pep talk and it’s amazing that just using simple sayings such as ‘I can do this’ throughout the day, will have a boost in confidence.  

5. New Normal

Do not underestimate the stress of re-engaging in behaviours that we used to take for-granted. Travelling into work, especially on public transport, meeting new people, handshakes, sharing communal areas will be a trigger for many, so do your part in keeping it calm.

6. Keep it moving

Improving your energy levels and feeling calm within yourself through yoga or a gym workout can do wonders for your mental wellbeing.  Exercise will reduce stress and anxiety so just because you are back at work and doing the daily commute don’t put off physical and mental exercise. 

What you should avoid doing:

- Do not make inappropriate jokes regarding the pandemic to cover up your awkwardness.  There are going to be many triggers amongst your colleagues so be mindful that many will have experienced the worst.

- Do not try and guess someone’s name - if in doubt there is no harm in asking them again. We’ve all been away for such a long time, there is no shame in asking their name again or position.

- Don’t make your working life a social treat – this isn’t a night out with friends so be mindful that you need to get work done.

- Don’t call out any bad behaviours of your colleagues publically. For example if your colleague  is continually late or struggling, do have a quiet word rather than make an office joke.  There could be a multiple reasons as people try to get back into working life, none less than busy public transport which will cause a lot of stress.

Getting back to life as we once knew it will be an adjustment, but take your time and do what feels right for you.

Sign up now with your wingman by downloading the Wingman app in the App store and Google Play store. Available in the US and UK for IOS and Android devices.

A Few Thoughts On Valentine's Day 2021

Historically Valentine’s Day has never been about hook-ups, but this year has added to that, with the inability to even get close to someone you are seeing or dating, let alone a casual hook-up.    

Hook-ups are now seen as a health risk, for singles and their families and they are taking steps to learn a lot more about their dates before they contemplate on their next step. For singles who are newly coupled up, ‘Zoom sex’ has become a novel way to keep that flame alive.  With V Day approaching, its set to increase (but just make sure that meeting link doesn’t go missing).

Online daters are not wasting their time dating someone just because it is convenient – they want a real connection. Conversation, banter, family values so forth have become the preference over a filtered sexy selfie.  People have also had the time to reassess what is important to them, what they want from their future and in a partner. 

Surprisingly many singletons have found this process liberating. They now need to use more initiative when forming new relationships and exploring different ways to instigate romance during lockdown.     

It is definitely harder to have that in-person closeness, but with the vaccine rolling out, we know it is not forever.  With singles putting this time to good use, in order to seek out real quality matches, the human touch is second to the need of finding out about a person, and whether you are compatible.  So that when normal life resumes, they can be excited about being with the right person.  Finding a real connection has never been so important and time wasters are weeded out much more quickly.  

Asking someone to hook-up during lockdown is a big no go in the world of online dating today.  There is now a much longer time period, over the past 12 months, when online daters feel comfortable with even contemplating the idea of meeting up (when restrictions are lifted). 

Therefore surprisingly, singletons are getting more creative this Valentine’s Day even though they cannot meet up in person.  Old fashioned romance is making a big comeback!

There are obvious ways to be romantic, but thoughtfulness is everything this year.  Sending a handwritten note or posting a card is much more appreciated than an email or WhatsApp message. Flowers, wine and cake are all going to be thoroughly appreciated and will be swamping social media this year.

Singletons are getting so creative they are organising a “an interactive virtual romantic date” somewhere international.   Without the hassle of travel or organising an in-person date, this opens the gateway to new opportunities. Virtual dates to see the Eiffel Tower in Paris or a walk along Bondi Beach in Sydney, are in high demand this Valentines Day.  It will create a new experience for dates, as opposed to a boring old Zoom call.

What we found in research:

• Without the restraints of location, singles have opened up with search distance by 10X what it was last year, as they are looking for real quality over quantity.

• During this past year we’ve changed the way we work, travel and interact, with the majority of singles preferring virtual dates and park walks, as opposed to a casual drink or coffee.

• It' not just about the singles though, we see more friends and family joining Wingman app in order to help their single friend and thinking of them around this romantic time.

If you do find yourself alone and single this Valentine’s Day, put on a Bridget Jones movie and something funny.  It’s very easy to draw comparisons and feel sorry for ourselves, but let’s just remind ourselves that there are many people spending Valentine’s Day locked away and dreading it.  Focus on finding the person you want to spend lots of time with, not just one day. Then when we emerge from lockdown you can hit the ground running and find that perfect person!

Looking to help out a friend/family member this Valentine’s Day? Download Wingman and find them a date!

How Dating Changed in 2020

What a year it’s been for dating. From socially distanced dates and quarantine bubbles to virtual Zoom dates, finding love in 2020 has been an adventure to say the least. 

If you’ve found the energy to date this year, we salute you! As the world adjusts to a new ongoing normal, we take a look back at how dating has changed in 2020.

1.    Hookup culture was cancelled 

The luxury of accepting a spontaneous date or meeting the love of your life (or for the night) at a club were pre - Corona activities most of us took for granted. In a time where meeting someone you’ve never met in person can become a threat to your health, dating has taken a more serious approach this past year.

We have now moved towards a patient approach where the “getting to know each other” phase has been prolonged. However, where factors such as distance may have been a deciding factor on whether you were a swipe yes or swipe no, daters are becoming more lenient in their search for love.

“Hook up culture is over,” says CEO and founder of Wingman App, Tina Wilson. “People are choosing quality over quantity. Most people have been obsessed about meeting someone in their zip code but that’s something not important when you’re looking for quality over convenience.” 

While hookup culture may not be what it used to be, daters are showing restraint in an effort to stay safe. 

2.    The growth of online dating 

2020 was the year for online dating. For some, it was their first time dating online and for others, it was a re-introduction.

“Online dating is up by 300%, there’s never been a better time to be online,” says Wilson. 

With current circumstances preventing us to date in person, it seems the only option for daters out there was to go online. With several dating apps and websites available, there’s no shortage of options in the virtual space. It’s safe to say online dating is one industry that’ll stay standing in 2021.

3.    Video dating became popular

While video dating isn’t relatively new, it certainly gained momentum in 2020. As we all isolated at home, naturally the next best option for when you want to see who you’ve been chatting to, was a video date. Thanks to video calling services such as Zoom and Skype, it allowed daters to still enjoy dating even if it was via a screen. Dating apps like Hinge and Wingman also introduced video features to help users stay connected.

“Virtual dating is more than just a Zoom call,” says Wilson. “You can stream into live comedy clubs, join trivia nights, you can even go on international virtual tour dates of the Eiffel Tower.” 

Video dating has been a crucial “in between” step from messaging and meeting in person. By verifying your date via a video call, you can choose whether to proceed further or call it quits if you’re not feeling it without risking your health. Apart from the minor awkward pauses and the odd Wi-Fi buffering issues, we can see video dating becoming a mainstay in 2021.

Check out our tips on how to make the most of out of virtual dating.

4.    Socially distanced dates

As we went in and out of Lockdown, most conventional date places were off limits with outdoor spaces being the most favoured within social distancing guidelines. A survey by Wingman found, “A walk in the park” is the most favored activity for a first date in real life. 

“Before you meet in person, you need to check with them if you are both on the same page when it comes to what the date will look like,” says Wilson. “Make sure you’re both comfortable and it doesn’t turn into an awkward mess.”  

City strolls and picnics were also among the most popular socially distanced dating activities. 

5.    The name Karen decreasing in popularity in dating

It’s been quite a year for daters named Karen too. In recent years, the name Karen has taken on a different meaning thanks to social media where the name is commonly used to describe women displaying aggressive racist or prejudice behaviour. 

Wingman found women named Karen received a third fewer responses this year and a 45 per cent drop in engagement. 

“The trends we observe in online dating typically reflect what’s happening in the real world,” says Wilson.

While a minority of these “Karens” exist, the majority of daters with the name Karen have been negatively affected by the association. Friends have even resorted to defending them as “not a real Karen”.

6.    Commitment becomes more important

2020 has put many things into perspective for all of us. While previously, we could move from one match to another, these days, we are more conscious about our potential partner and if our ideals really fit. 

“One of our favourite dating terms this year was Coronesty, where people don’t have time to waste and are becoming more honest about their dating intentions,” says Wilson. “People are feeling pressure to lock down especially during cuffing season and during these uncertain times but it’s far more important to get a quality match.”

On the other hand, for those confident in their relationship, daters weren’t afraid to accelerate towards the “Living Together” phase. Thanks to quarantine restrictions and not being able to visit other households, couples have resorted to prematurely moving in together which for some have worked out well and for others not.

The stress of the Pandemic can be overwhelming for daters but the important thing to realise is that you don’t need to rush. Be self-aware and don’t let loneliness guide your heart and mind.   

“Don’t exhaust yourself – It may feel like you need to always keep an eye out for your next match but you can always take the pressure off by outsourcing it to your friend (via Wingman).”

Our favourite trending dating terms of 2020

Zombieing – Exes or people who’ve ghosted you but have risen from the dead and got back in contact.

Zumping – Being dumped over a Zoom call. At least it’s face to face. Kinda.

Expedating – Couples who quickly got into a relationship or moved in because of quarantine.

Coronesty – Being truthful about your dating intentions head on, nothing like a worldwide pandemic to put into perspective of knowing what you really want.

Happy New Year x

Mens Radio interview with Dr Pam Spurr

As we reach the end of 2020, I sat down with our resident relationship expert, Dr Pam Spurr to talk about all things dating, the pandemic and how Wingman App is helping friends and family stay connected.

Swiping for your friends and family during Lockdown

Let’s be real. Dating is hard enough but 2020 has made it almost impossible. Thanks to the worldwide pandemic that is Covid-19, meeting someone great while being under Lockdown is difficult to say the least. We all know someone who is single and now more than ever is when we need to check in on them…and see if they need any help with their dating life. For selfless reasons, of course.

Wingman lets you do exactly that. YOU get to take the reins of your single friend’s love life and find them their perfect match. By writing their bio and telling other singles why your single friend is worthy of a swipe right, you’ll have a hand in finding them their next great match. 

Here’s 4 reasons why you should help a single friend out right now:

1)    They need you!

While they may admit everything is fine, chances are they might be feeling a little lonely, especially if they are living alone. If they’re lacking the motivation to date (who could blame them), this is your chance to step up and bring some positivity into their life. On Wingman, you can take the reins and tell potential matches why your single friend is awesome without them feeling burdened with introducing themselves. Escape loneliness together by doing something great! 

2)    Give them options 

Secretly, we all know we can do a better job at finding a match for them. If they’re tired of meeting the same type of people over and over again, it won’t be such a bad thing to give them options. Wingman lets you swipe on behalf of your single friend and let you do the introducing without your single friend having to lift a finger. They can just watch the matches roll in. 

3)    Strengthen your friendship 

Good friends don’t let friends date alone. Show them you care about them and want to actively help them in their pursuit for love.  At a time when real connections seem as frail as our internet connections, working on something together can tighten your communications. You know you are REAL friends if your friendship has survived 2020.

4)     Give them something to look forward to (when restrictions are lifted)

The year might not have turned out the way we wanted it to but that doesn’t mean we have to stop caring. This is finally your single friend’s time to pay closer attention to their dating life and what they truly want. Landing them a match and letting them decide if a relationship is worth pursuing or not in 2021 is something as a friend you can make happen. There is the extra bonus that if things progress further, you’ve got the glory of setting them up! 

KATU 2 ABC interview

As we’re nearing the end of what has been a rollercoaster of a year, I spoke to Portland, Oregon’s KATU 2 ABC about how dating has changed in 2020 and how at Wingman, we are making it easier for friends and family to still help out their single friend.

Virtual Dating in the age of Covid-19 - Good Morning Arizona

Dating Trends of 2020 with Tina Wilson on Great Day St. Louis

My recent interview with Great Day St Louis about how the dating landscape has changed during the Pandemic and the trending online dating terms.

Founder and CEO of Wingman App, Tina Wilson talks to Great Day St Louis about how the dating landscape has changed during the Pandemic and the trending onlin...

The best and worst wingman stories I've heard.

Every one of us has a hilarious story involving friends and dating disasters and it makes my day reading our user’s wingman stories they share with us via social media. Here are few of my favourites:

I wanna dance with somebody

Compared to my friends, I am usually the shy one. We were at a bar one night when I spotted a guy looking over. Now, my friend is a phenomenal dancer. I am not. Before I could refuse, she had already dragged me to the dance floor and proceeded to make me move like I was a mannequin. The guy soon joined us and started saying how great my moves are. I turned around and saw my friend at the bar giving me a thumbs up. Shout-out to her, for being an awesome wingwomen. - Sarah 27

Size apparently matters

I’m the tallest among my friends and they have forever teased me for it. One night we were out and a really cute guy kept smiling at me. He was evidently shorter than me but it didn’t bother me. My friend however noticed our flirting and casually walked past and said “Careful or she’ll sit on you”. I was mortified. – Amy 25

Man’s best friend

While out jogging, I always see this cute girl walking her dog. I asked my best friend if I could borrow his. On my next run, I took his dog and sure enough, I ended up chatting to the girl and to my relief, she was single too. We went on a couple of dates before I broke it to her that I don’t actually have a dog and I was just looking after my friend’s. Turns out, she already knew as she’d met my friend when he had walked his dog! Luckily, he had actually put in a good word for me. – Mike 22



Hobbit time you left

My friend is known for being brutally honest. We were having dinner at a restaurant once and when she had left to go to the bathroom, a guy sitting opposite us came over to talk to me. He was very sweet and I didn’t mind chatting to him. However, when my friend came back she bluntly said: “Sorry mate, she doesn’t date anyone with a face like Gollum.” Luckily, the guy didn’t get her reference and politely smiled and went back to his table. Cringing, I said let’s get out of here asap before he figures out what you’ve just said. – Clare 28

Summer Love

While on holiday, my friend and I were sightseeing when this really attractive guy came up to us asking for directions. Before I could say sorry we don’t know, we’re tourists too, my friend jumped in and said he should join us sight-seeing. We end up chatting all the way and had lots in common. My friend makes up an excuse to leave us alone together and you could say it was one of the best summer romances I’ve ever had. – Tracy 33

Saturday Night Out - Out

My mate and I have been single as long as we’ve known each other. A Saturday night out is a tradition for us. One time, I was having a conversation with a girl that was going really well and just as I was ready to ask her out, my clearly drunk friend came in between us and vomited all over the floor. Disgusted, the girl left with her friends and I never saw her again. Cheers wingman. - Sam 26

Everyone's got a story - What's yours? Tell us now at contact@wingmanapp.com

7 Lies We've Told On Dating Profiles.

We all have been guilty of telling a white lie here and there and none more so than on a dating profile.

Studies have found men are more likely to exaggerate their height and lie about what they do for a living while women tend to underplay their actual weight and have less truthful photos than men. 

Here are some common lies people tell on their dating profiles:

“Looking for a serious relationship” 

AKA here for a good time not a long time. While there may be a good percentage of people who might be looking for a serious relationship, there are a couple people who use the pretence of “interested in a serious relationship” to get matches and if they feel like they can’t seal the deal within their allotted time, they’re ready to get back in the pond, searching for new bait. 

“This is me” photo 

When was the last time any of us have uploaded a photo that hasn’t been edited or filtered at all? All we see now are dog filters, mirror selfies and a picture of us 10 years ago that we’re hoping still looks like us. The sad reality is that when you eventually meet the person you like, you aren’t going to have any of the filters to hide behind so why not save the disappointment for the both of you and be honest. 

I love to travel

In reality, it means from the couch to the kitchen. Travel is the overused buzzword for dating profiles since online dating began… but how many of us can actually class it as a hobby? Going somewhere in your gap year 5 years ago doesn’t count. 

She/He’s my friend 

A pet peeve of any online dater is when they see a photo of the person in the arms of attractive company. Now it can be as innocent as just their family member or a friend but as a potential match, we don’t know that. Is that your ex??? Are you trying to make yourself more attractive? Hang on… which one are you? If the mind games are already starting with a couple of photos, it’s hard to see how this will go. 

I wrote this profile 

More like the first search result on Google did. I get it, trying to write your bio and to sound vaguely interesting might trigger stress inducing flashbacks to your biology exam, but copying the first thing you think sounds good, isn’t exactly the right approach to showing the real you. Nor when you finally start talking to people. 

A study by Journal of Communications found that more than 1/3 of lies people told during the chatting phase of online dating were that of self-presentation, e.g pretending to have similar interests. If you’re really struggling with writing your profile, outsource it to a friend and this way the other party knows. 

I’m Single

The corker of a lie that some of us have been burned by way too many times. Are we mistaken to think that online dating platforms are strictly for Singles? Yes. Did you know 7% of people in the US use a dating website/app to cheat on their significant other?  No one wants to be second best.

I have a dog

Some lies can be forgiven but others… not so much. We’ll admit it, we pretty much swiped yes on you because you had a cute dog and then you say you don’t have one? What cruel inception is this?

Dating during the Pandemic - Good Morning New York interview

The Do's and Don'ts of Matchmaking

Being a matchmaker is a tough job. But someone’s got to do it. We’ve all been there. We see two people who would be just right for each other and we can’t help but get things moving along.

Whether you’re bored of listening to your friend’s dating disasters or know you can set them up with someone way better, remember the urge to play matchmaker can either help or hinder your friendship.

Here’s what to do and what to avoid when you’re playing cupid:

The Do’s


Firstly, ask them if you can be their wingman

You can’t set them up with someone if they aren’t willing to meet them. Ask if you can help them look for someone first. 

Listen to what they would like in a potential partner

It’s not about you. Whatever your personal opinion is on who they should date, at the end of the day, you’re trying to find someone for them, not you! If they’re looking for someone older, interested in specific activities or someone who is different to their ex, the key is to listen. Try to tick 3 out of 4 boxes so there’s room for them to be surprised. 

The Don’ts

Use this as an opportunity to have fun

If you’re serious about finding your friend someone they would be happy with, don’t treat this opportunity for your own amusement. They’ve trusted you with the task of introducing them to someone you think would be right for them. Affairs of the heart shouldn’t be treated as a joke. Save the memes for the group chat after the date.

Become the third wheel 

After the introduction, it’s important to let them get on with it. It’s okay to get a debrief from your friend after the date but orchestrating how the relationship should move forward is not your call. 

 Be over critical of anyone who might not meet your “standards”

Your friend may have a checklist of who they want, you may have a checklist of who you want and trying to find someone you’ll both be happy with, will become near on impossible. 

Tell them everything about the person you’re setting them up with

Reduce expectations and let them surprise each other. It can be so tempting for both of them to do a quick social media search on each other before the date, but sometimes going in blind can give them both an idea of who they really are in the present and not in a socially constructed profile online.  

7 Ways To Keep Your Dating Motivation Up

Finding love is not a sprint. It’s a marathon. Dating is a journey many of us stumble, fall and even give up on but inevitably must get back to (if you haven’t found the one). With all the mixed messages, the lousy conversations and downright ghosting out there, it’s no wonder many of us find it hard to stay on track.

Here are 8 ways to keep your dating motivation up:

1)     Get A Wingman

Who better to understand what you’re going through than another single friend? Encouragement from someone who is in the same boat as you, might just be what you both need to stay motivated in finding love. Not to mention, having a buddy by your side will increase your confidence, be less lonely and you’ll have more fun.  

2)     Try a new app – depending on your niche

The beauty of technology is that there’s a platform out there for everybody. Whether you’re trying to find a dinner partner, a fellow vegetarian or someone who shares your love of dogs, there is an app out there for you. If you’re not getting anywhere with just the one, try downloading a few others and see if your chances get better. 

3)    Schedule a day for a date

If you’re a lover of routine, why not set one day aside every two weeks to go on a real-life date? It could be someone you’ve matched with on an app, a blind date set up by your friend or someone you met through fate. Having mini goals for yourself will remind you to take actionable steps, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself to avoid burnout.

4)     Work on a part of yourself you’re not confident about 

Is it your pre-date anxiety? Do you need help with conversation starters? Working on yourself while going out on dates is a good way to test out any improvements you want to make. Getting a friend to remind you of the best bits about yourself is a great confidence booster and one that might help see yourself in the best light.

5)    Don’t pressure yourself – take breaks 

If the daily grind of trying to find the one is wearing you down, it’s time to take a pause. Tired of lost conversations, never-ending swiping and matches ghosting you? Stop and use this time as a way to mentally recharge and focus on yourself. A dating detox might just be what you need to see if things can develop organically. 

6)     Think of the big picture – it’s not a race

It can be easy to get stuck on following someone else’s path especially if those around you seem to be happy in their relationships. Finding love is not a competition (even if The Batchelor makes it seem like it is!). You need to do what’s right for you, are you actually ready for a relationship or do you think you should be in one?

7)     Spend time with friends – invest in platonic love 

Still pining over someone who hasn’t replied to your text in two weeks? Move on. Invest your time in people who are worth your time. Strengthening the relationships you already have is a good way to feel loved and appreciated. 

Dating after a divorce

Being a matchmaker is a tough job. But someone’s got to do it. We’ve all been there. We see two people who would be just right for each other and we can’t help but get things moving along.

Whether you’re bored of listening to your friend’s dating disasters or know you can set them up with someone way better, remember the urge to play matchmaker can either help or hinder your friendship.

Here’s what to do and what to avoid when you’re playing cupid:

The Do’s

First ask them if you can be their wingman

You can’t set them up with someone if they aren’t willing to meet them. Ask if you can help them look for someone first. 

Listen to what they would like in a potential partner

It’s not about you. Whatever your personal opinion is on who they should date, at the end of the day, you’re trying to find someone for them, not you! If they’re looking for someone older, interested in specific activities or someone who is different to their ex, the key is to listen. Try to tick 3 out of 4 boxes so there’s room for them to be surprised. 

Help organise their first date

Eliminate some of their anxiety by picking a date they both are comfortable going on. There’s nothing worse than a mediocre first date, and the setting plays a big part. Is going to see a movie going to reduce the time they have to talk? 

Is dinner at a fancy restaurant… plain boring? 

Will a high intensity activity just get their hearts racing for all the wrong reasons? 

Choose the venue or activity you think they will have the most fun with and will bring out their personality.

Encourage them to date outside their type

If it’s a bad boy they always go for why not persuade them to go on a blind date with someone you think will treat them better. You should still listen to what they find attractive and try and find a happy medium. 

Give them advice only if they ask

I know it can be hard to hide your opinion when you’re trying to play matchmaker but it’s alright to let them know e.g. if their chat needs work or what outfit they should go with. You want to help build their confidence, not just state where they’re going wrong.

The Don’ts

Use this as an opportunity to have fun

If you’re serious about finding your friend someone they would be happy with, don’t treat this opportunity for your own amusement. They’ve trusted you with the task of introducing them to someone you think would be right for them. Affairs of the heart shouldn’t be treated as a joke. Save the memes for the group chat after the date.

Become the third wheel 

After the introduction, it’s important to let them get on with it. It’s okay to get a debrief from your friend after the date but orchestrating how the relationship should move forward is not your call. 

 Be over critical of anyone who might not meet your “standards”

Your friend may have a checklist of who they want, you may have a checklist of who you want and trying to find someone you’ll both be happy with, will become near on impossible. 

Tell them everything about the person you’re setting them up with

Reduce expectations and let them surprise each other. It can be so tempting for both of them to do a quick social media search on each other before the date, but sometimes going in blind can give them both an idea of who they really are in the present and not in a socially constructed profile online.  

How to deal with Orbiting?

Sometimes trying to get rid of an ex is harder than trying to get rid of a red wine stain. 

If only we could use Vanish on them, life would be easier.

I’ve been through my fair share of break-ups and I’ve always been fascinated by how we choose to move on… or not. With hindsight, it’s clear to see what we ‘should’ have done, but not so easy in the actual moment.  Whether you chose to end the relationship or have been royally dumped, it’s not fun. So how do we cut ties with an ex that’s lurking behind the screens?  Should we accept they’ll always be around in some way?

Thanks to social media, this is more prevalent than ever. There are new terms being used in order to deal with the behaviours. One of the newer ones is ‘Orbiting’ …. which explains the behaviour of a person (an ex or a person you were interested in), who has ended the relationship or communication, in fact won’t even answer your texts - but decides to linger or “orbit” around your life by liking and commenting on all your posts. It’s somewhat more confusing than ‘ghosting’, which is when someone stops all contact with you for no particular reason’ but still as mindboggling and hurtful.      

 So what do you do when you’re being orbited?  (You, my friend, would be the ‘orbitee’)

 ·     Wingman trust – Firstly, do lean on your trusted friends to help you through it.  Your wingmen will always have a protective and logical voice to cut through the internal madness you may start telling yourself.   

·     Block/unfollow – If they are becoming a serious hindrance to your ability to move on, you should try limiting their access on how they show up in your life. 

·     Don’t watch – Even though it’s tempting to watch their latest Instagram story from your secret IG account, it’s like punching yourself in the face… there is no benefit other than to hurt yourself.    

·     Limit temptation – You wake up in the night, unable to sleep and figure it cannot hurt to have a flick through their IG … after an hour, you have now looked at their friends, their tag and locations and wasted another hour of your life on this spineless twit.  Leave your phone downstairs if you have to.

·     Invest your time wisely – Whether that’s in a friend, a new hobby or yourself, use your time to focus on what you have right now.  By putting your attention onto something new, it will ensure you are not as focussed on them. 

My friends were always the first to be outraged on my behalf, to cry on my behalf and always the first to lift me up. When you come out of a relationship or break things off with someone you were really interested in, it’s normal for your confidence to take a hit and leave you vulnerable. The idea is to block that person from taking any more of your confidence. Who needs a ghostbuster when you have a shield of friends?

The New Dating Terms Of 2019

With the prevalence of online dating more common now, I found that there is a whole new set of vocabulary daters are using today to describe their journey throughout dating. 

Here are some of my favourites:

Ghosting: refers to the brutal action of completely ignoring further communication from a person you once had a good interaction with. Chances are you or someone you know, have been ghosted before, whether that’s by a friend, a date or even your dog. I’m still undecided on whether it’s just cowardly or a harmless way to end contact. 

Orbiting: The unexplainable follow-up by a ghoster - they continue to linger in your life by watching every single one of your Instagram stories and liking/commenting on your posts.

Breadcrumbing: Borrowed from the tale of Hansel and Gretel, breadcrumbing is when your online conversations are going great until you’re lead by someone who has no intentions of meeting up in real life. Fine if you’re after an online pen pal, not so sure if you’re after a committed relationship. 

Friend zoned: The classic case of starting out with romantic potential but ending up being better as friends. An easier way than getting ghosted but nonetheless disappointing if you wanted more. 

Peacocking: A term used to describe heavily flattering social media posts. Profiles usually display the best 10/10 version of a person, designed to get the most attention much like a peacock spreading its glorious feathers. 

Catfish: One of the first terms to start the trend, catfish or catfishing is when you pretend to be someone else online. Whether that’s through using photos that aren’t of yourself or deceiving the person you’re talking to about who you really are. Usually, non-committal to meeting in real life for the fear of being caught out. Made famous by these guys.

Cuffing: When the thought of being single in the fall is too miserable so you get into a relationship just so you have someone to spend nights in with when it’s too cold to go out.  A Single pringle by summer.   

Sliding into the DM’s: In other words, direct messaging each other on social media. It’s the online equivalent of flirting, by liking each other’s pictures, commenting on social media posts and when ready, going in for the direct message.

Pied: When you get rejected after asking someone out, often causing embarrassment and fear being laughed at like a ‘clown’.

Stashing/benching: When you feel like the relationship is hidden. You’re not introduced to their friends or family or even mentioned on their social media. They might be “benching” you when they’re not ready to commit or looking for someone better to come along. 

Sidebarring: Not exclusive to dating, sidebarring is when you look at your phone more than the person you’re talking to. 

Wingman: My favourite of course, Wingman is the person who supports you when you’re approaching romantic partners. Here’s what to look for in a good one.

Assisted Romance Is Blossoming

I'm watching assisted romance bloom in America and couldn't be happier.  In the short time since we brought the Wingman beta to America, we've been thrilled--almost every day--to hear stories from people in the US, the UK, and around the world about what it means to be a wingman not just in love, but in life, too.  

People who saw news reports about our launch have written to tell us about how great it is to have a wingman who always has their back--or how much it means to them to be able to support their best mates in good times and bad. It's sometimes a best friend, sometimes even your Mom or Dad. Indeed on Mother's Day, we saw flood of emotion in the stories people shared about how their first and best wingman ever will always be Mom. And now we're getting stories about dads as Father's Day approaches.

And as we have known from the very start, a wingman isn't always a person.  Many of you have told us what we already know: That the wingman you lean on for backup is so often a pet.  This is of course obvious to anyone who's ever walked down the sidewalk with an adorable mutt, or managed to get through one of life's rough patches with strong, stoic support of the cat or dog they share their life with. 

All these amazing wingman stories you've shared with us have only made us want to hear more. 

So today we're inviting all of you to tell us about the Wingman in your life and nominate them to be part of our next ad campaign. We want to get at the essence of being a selfless friend.  Tell us about your BFF, your little brother, your tough little bulldog-lab mix who walks beside you in life. And if you're a Master Wingman yourself, tell us  your secrets.  

Keep the great stories coming. 

til next time

Wingman OUT

Tina

Do Something Good: Be a Wingman

Tina's belief in the value of helping others led to the development of Wingman Action Programs, including a partnership with Second Chance Rescue, one of the New York's most effective animal rescue organizations dedicated to helping some very desperate--and but incredibly deserving dog and cats find forever homes. Wingman has pledged to make donations to Second Chance each time someone shares the campaign on social media, or installs the Wingman app between August 1st and October 1st, 2017.  The pets of Second Chance all deserve a Wingman for Life.  We're dedicated to helping them find their Wingman. Read more about the program and support the campaign HERE. 

Catalina Needs a Wingman:  Second Chance Rescue volunteers help the the most desperate and the most deserving find the Wingman for Life they deserve.